"And speaking of jokes that almost write themselves," I wrote. "Animal sex is not actually against the law in Florida -- so Bautista has been charged with animal cruelty instead.
Well, let the word go out to zoophiliacs from Miami to Tallahassee: Your kind is no longer welcome in the Sunshine State.
The state has finally past a law banning animal sex -- and believe it or not, making bestiality illegal did not come easily.
As Jason Linkins writes at the Huffington Post, state senator Nancy Rich has been trying since 2009 -- and it's taken three ties to finally pass the bill, which now goes to Gov. Rick Scott for approval.
Of course, there's a group of people who think Gov. Scott looks like Lord Voldemort, so his signature may not be a slam-dunk.
Related Weird Animal Crimes
- Little Animal, Big Crime: Man Accused of Sex With Mini Horse
- Bestiality Suspect: 'I Accidentally Molested a Horse'
- Sex With a Horse
- From the Bestiality Files: More Crazy Horse Sex Accusations
- Forget Dogs: More Bestial Tales of Criminal Horse Sex
- Animal Sex Tales: Man Accused of Raping 'Christie Brinkley' Dog
- Why Are So Many People Having Sex With Dogs?
- Bestiality, Scatology and Penile Self-Mutilation: How Low Can We Go?