Life indeed imitates art, especially when Star Wars geeks start drinking.

Arwel Wynne Hughes, a 27-year-old, boozed-up Briton, dressed up like Darth Vader (with a garbage bag cape!) and attacked two members of group known as the Jedi Church.

To appreciate this story, consider how seriously the British are about George Lucas' space saga. In 2001, the United Kingdom listed Jedi as a religion with some 390,000 members -- about 0.7 percent of the population.

Prosecutors say Hughes jumped over the Jedi Church wall and whacked the men with a metal crutch, pretending it was a light saber.

In his defense, Hughes' lawyer says he couldn't remember the incident, having quaffed a 2 1/2-gallon (10-liter) box of wine beforehand and doesn't remember a thing.

A judge sentenced him to two months in jail but suspended the sentence for a year. Of course, in a true Jedi court, Hughes might have been frozen in carbonite and sold off to Jabba the Hutt.

Other Weird News Highlights

• Naked Aggression: Woman mistook nude thief for husband (Nude News) ;
• Occupied: Man says JetBlue made him sit on toilet for three-hour flight to California (Potty Issues);
• Pipe Dream: A Japanese vending machine counts wrinkles on your face to determine if buyers are old enough to smoke (Silly Smokers);
• Long May You Creep: A Spider species is named in honor of Neil Young (Celebrity Stupidity);
• Holly Scabs: A California man believes the Virgin Mary has appeared in his wound (Weird Religion);
• Blind Jaws: An Australian pokes a 12-foot great white shark in the eyes, possibly saving his own life (Man vs. Beast).

Photo © Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

While Robert Downey Jr. is burning up the box office with "Ironman," Tim Robbins is hitting theaters as a superhero with less super-power but more comic punch. Meet the Rectifier.

In "Noise," the Oscar-winning Robbins is a short-fused New Yorker whose blood boils each time an auto alarm blares, and he transforms into a car-vandalizing vigilante. The Rectifier doesn't have an airborne suit of armor like Downye's Ironman. He's a bleary bat-wielding guy who wanders outside in a bathrob. But he does get his point across -- and he's not unlike some real-life vigilantes, each fighting a pet peeve for the greater good.

Among theses real-life headline-making heroes: A Connecticut woman who's taking on dog owners who don't clean up after their pet's poop. (Our Litigious Times) Then there's this Constitutional martyr in Utah who's proved that the Fourth Amendment can protect your right to moon. (Nude News)

We salute these other would-be Rectifiers as we look back at last week's best weird news.

• Pot Head: Grave diggers use skull as bong (You Must Be Wasted);
• Chew On This: Scientists Working on gum that won't stick to pavement (New Products);
• Sweet Smell of Arrest: Chocolate breath foils 15-year-old shoplifter (Dumb Crime Du Jour);
• Watch the Jail Birdie: Man poses with women, then robs them (Dumb Crime Du Jour);
• Naked Aggression: Police arrest naked hostage taker (Nude News);
• Blind Ambition: 78-year-old legally blind man bowls perfect game (Minor Miracles) .

Photo © Seven Arts Pictures

Why remember the Alamo? Because it's just a stone's throw from Ripley's all-new Odditorium -- home to a two-trunked elephant, Lee Harvey Oswald's autopsy toe-tag, a 512-lb. meteorite, and other one-of-a-kind wonders.

Heavily-pierced sideshow stars swung from metal hooks, Sideshow Bennie the Human Pincushion hammered nails into his head, and a knee-high woman -- known as "The Human Tripod" -- sang.

San Antonio has long been home to a Ripley's Believe It Or Not! museum, but the all-new Odditorium ratchets up the weirdness.

Among the other featured exhibits:

The mummified head of famed Colorado cannibal Alfred Packer; a preserved deer with eight feet on four legs; the car Lee Harvey Oswald used on the day he assassinated John F. Kennedy; and a 23-foot model of the Eiffel Tower made from toothpicks.

And if you have time, don't forget to check out the Alamo.

Related

• Photos of the Odditorium's Opening
• Coney Island Sideshow School

Photo © Ripley's Believe It or Not!

Police say they found 300 dead cats stuffed into the freezers of Michael Louis Vondueren, a 47-year-old man from Sacramento, whose home was littered with cat feces.

Perhaps the only shred of relief for cat lovers is that 30 felines were rescued from the house, along with Vondueren's 81-year-old mother.

Vondueren was arrested on suspicion of possession of an automatic weapon and obstructing police officers, and animal control officials say he might face additional charges.

This is just the latest incident of humans behaving badly in California. Over the weekend, a 24-year-old from Santa Rosa was arrested at Six Flags Discovery Kingdom for punching a camel on a dare.

Top Weird News

• God (and Surveillance Cameras) Are Watching: Thieves caught stealing from Memphis Church's collection plate (Dumb Crime Du Jour);
• This Bud's for All Eternity: Man orders beer can coffin (Morbid Pleasures);
• Tacky Salute: Student accused of high Fiving his teacher with tacks hidden in his hands (Tales Out of School);
• Watch the Birdie: Man on motorcycle flips bird at officers, then crashes (Big Open Road);
• Married in Wife's Last Name Only: Man wins right to use wife's last name (Name Change Games);
• Biology Lessons: Arizona State University students frolic in underwear before finals (The Nude News);
• A Sip of Bubbly: Cafe mistakes dishwashing liquid for wine (Dumb Move).

Photo © David Paul Morris/Getty Images

Here's a good reason to clip your toenails:

A man in Mary Esther, Fla., at the DRS Technologies building, got his arms stuck in machinery that resembled an elevator and he saved himself by dialing 911 with his big toe.

Police pried him free and he was airlifted to a Pensacola hospital.

With minor miracles like this in mind, let's look at the past week's best weird news stories.

Top Weird News

• Penguin-Seal Sex: . . . And it wasn't Consensual! (Weird Bird News);
• Something Old, Like the Bride: A 94-Year-Old, first married in 1931, Becomes Britain's oldest bride (Love, Sex & Marriage);
• Franken Foods: Introducing Bacon Vodka and Chocolate Wine (Strange New Products);
• Toe-tally Awesome: Man dials 911 with big toe (Minor Miracles);
• Blending in With the Furniture: Skeletal remains of dead woman on couch go unnoticed for a month (Morbid Pleasures);
• Eye-Full Driving: Passenger moons traffic camera (Weird Automotive News);
• Lights! Cameras! Action!: Teens Trash Historic Mansion in YouTube Video (YouTube Boobs);
• Scales of Justice: Defendant too fat to enter courthouse (Dumb Crime Du Jour);
• God Knows Why: Man asks judge to change his name to "In God We Trust (Name Change Games) ;

Photo © Buck Wolf

When Britney Spears shaved her head last February and turned her run-of-the-mill Hollywood eccentricity into free-freaking hyperdrive, we knew she'd pay a price, the only question was how much.

Now, In Touch Weekly is quoting an insider that put's the figure at $61 million -- and that's not counting the $50 million she passed up by not touring.

That's an awful lot of underwear she didn't buy, and clearly didn't wear.

“It’s staggering how much money has been used up,” an insider tells the magazine. “It’s been quite a challenge getting things under control.”

Britney's father is now managing her affairs.

Other Weird News Highlights

• Dead Giveaway: Families sue undertakers claiming dead relatives body parts were sold for medical use without consent (Morbid Pleasures);
• Sexually Lame Derby Winner: Owners of thoroughbred War Emblem can't get him to mate, even with Viagra (Man vs. Beast);
• Bloody Ice Capades: Parolee allegedly attacks biker with ice scrapper allegedly 'to have fun" (Dumb Crime Du Jour) ;
• Automotive Rabies Alert: Intoxicated and belligerent Indiana professor allegedly bites police car (Dumb Crime Du Jour);
• Mouth-to-Beak Resuscitation: Firefighters save parrot's life (Weird Bird News)
;
• Flirting With a Haircut: Men who break Saudi Arabian "No flirting" law face mandatory haircuts (Hysterical Prudishness);
• Nuptial Nut: Bride trashes conga drum, pleads guilty (Bridezillas).

Photo © Getty Images

People from the Greek Island of Lesbos are known as Lesbians and they want the world to know they're not a bunch of gay woman (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Three Lesbos islanders are petitioning a Greek court to ask one of the country's gay associations -- the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece -- to stop using the word "Lesbian."

For those who don't know, Lesbos is the home of the ancient poet Sappho who celebrated the love between women.

"My sister can't say she is a Lesbian," said Dimitris Lambrou, one of the litigants, according to the Associated Press. "Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos."

Perhaps the court can consider changing the islands name to Homophobia, and the people there can happily be known as Homophobics.

Other Weird News Highlights

• Here's Looking at You, Squid: Giant sea creature found with eyes as big as beach balls (Weird Photo Extravaganza);
• Poop-De-Doo: For $216, a NY spa will slather you with bird poo for a "Geisha Facial." (That's Disgusting);
• Naked Highway: A nude man walking on a Pennsylvania high says he was just checking himself for injuries (Nude News).

Photo © Huton Archive/Getty Images

Does Eliot Spitzer need a drinking buddy?

If so, he might want to look up Troy Buswell of the conservative Western Australian Liberal Party, who tearfully admitted Tuesday that in 2005 he sniffed a female staffer's seat.

But unlike Spitzer, Buswell is not stepping down.

Only 24 hours earlier, Buswell had denied the "unsubstantiated, anonymous rumor" that he went to the woman's chair and inhaled to get a laugh from colleagues.

When he changed his tune a day later, he broke down in tears when he talked about his family:

"I've spoken to my wife and my boys and it's a difficult process," he said. "It's hard dealing with these matters and having to face up to your responsibilities . . . It's harder to do it privately."

But Buswell has some practice apologizing. He previously had to admit that he snapped the bra of a staffer from the rival Libor Party -- another ill advised little joke while drinking at a party.

Here's a little peak at how, only a few months earlier, Buswell promised to clean up Western Australia.

• Doomsday Alert: World Population to hit 6,666,666,666 in May (Signs of Armageddon);
• Sticky Situation: 'Duct Tape Bandit' pleads guilty to armed robbery (Dumb Crime Du Jour);
• Stop the Presses: Woman trapped under dead husband freed by newspaper carrier (morbid pleasures).

Photo © OzElections.com

Grumpy old men of Chile, rejoice!

A town just south of Santiago is giving out free Viagra to men 60 and older four times a month to improve their "quality of life."

"It's done responsibly. It's not just like handing out candy at the corner," Gonzalo Navarrete, a physician and mayor of the poor town of Lo Prado, told Las Ultimas Noticias, according to Reuters.

Mayor Navorrete says he was spurred to act after hearing older men in his town complain about not getting enough sex.

It goes without saying, Viagra is no cure for loneliness.

Other Weird News Highlights:

• Child's Play: 10-month-old issued gun permit (Declining Standards);
• Global Orgasms: Chinese least likely to achieve orgasm, Italians most likely, poll says (Love, Sex & Marriage);
• Fat Chance: 300-lb. inmate sues prison for not feeding him enough (Our Litigious Times);
• Gee Whiz: Wisconsin man can't stop urinating in stores (That's Disgusting);
• Wedding Rumble: Newlyweds spend wedding night in separate jail cells (Love, Sex & Marriage);
• Low Brow: School threatens suspension to students who shave vertical lines in their eyebrows (Tales Out of School);
Stripped Down: Drunk man allegedly tries to leave baby at strip club (Bad Parents).

Photo © Roland Maguina/Getty Images

See Dick run. See Jane run to the plastic surgeon. Run, Jane, run!

My Beautiful Mommy (Big Tent Books) goes where no other children's book has yet to go. It explains to little tykes why mommy is getting a nose job and tummy tuck. As you may have guessed, the author, Dr. Michael Salzhauer, is a plastic surgeon.

As the book's central character -- a cute, teddy bear-clutching little girl -- wonders what's going on, her mom sets her heart at ease:

“You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn’t fit into my clothes anymore," mom says. "Dr. Michael is going to fix that and make me feel better.”

Here's a look at some of the week's top weird news:

• Got Milk?: Suspended police officer is charged with having sex with a cow (Very Kinky);
• Self-Gratifying News: Masturbation may prevent prostate cancer (Useful Excuses);
• Don't Look Now: Italian man is convicted for staring at a woman (Hysterical Prudishness);
• Shoulder Showoff: Bicyclist suspected of stealing an air conditioner (Dumb Crime Du Jour);
• Hell Has No Fury: Knife-wielding woman chases her boyfriend, thinking he was in the porn movie they were watching (Love, Sex & Marriage);
• Bear Facts: One of Hollywood's "best trained" grizzlies kills its handler (Man vs. Beast);
• Airport Insecurity: 73-Year-Old Man accidentally drives onto runway (Automotive Weirdness);
• Don't Tase Me, Sis: More women host Taser parties (Weird Women's Issues);
• Heaven-Sent Delivery: Postman catches baby that fell from 2nd floor window(Minor Miracles).

Photo © Big Tent Books