Our Weird, Dumb Year: The Daftest Achievements of 2010

It's usually around this time of year that all the big news organizations get on their high horses and start naming the most important and influential people of the year.

But if they're THAT important, do we really need a reminder of who they are?

So forget about that -- let's look instead at some of the strangest, weirdest and just plain dumb newsmakers of 2010.

I was a judge for this year's DAFTA awards, and here are some of the highlights:

• The Jaw of Awe: Francisco Domingo Joaquim opened wide for Guinness World Records. His mouth can stretch 6.69 inches long -- enough to fit a can of soda sideways.
• Short Man for a Short Time: Edward Nino Hernandez was the world's shortest man for barely a month. So in addition to holding the record of world's shortest man, he also held it for a world record shortest amount of time when he was replaced by the even-littler Khagendra Magar.
• Eight Arms and a Sixth Sense: Paul the Psychic Octopus successfully predicted the outcome of eight World Cup matches before suddenly -- perhaps mysteriously -- retiring and dying. Now, his secret is in Davy Jones' locker.

• Human Breathalyzer Funks Booze Test: It's one of the dumbest crimes of the year: A man dressed as a breathalyzer flunks a breathalyzer test during a DUI stop. Police say it was 19-year-old Matthew Nieveen's second booze-related arrest.
• Showing Some Crack on TV: A bobsled rider suffered the ultimate indignity when her skin-tight pants revealed the skin beneath. They split right open on camera, and now the world knows that Gillian Cooke wears a thong.
• Selling Your Soul: I'd sell my own soul for the right price. But thousands of GameStation shoppers sold theirs without even knowing it, according to the terms of service they agreed to, mostly without reading.
• A Bad Start to the Day: We've all woken up in some pretty awful places -- and many of us with some pretty awful companions. But it's hard to top the explorer who woke up with his head in the mouth of a polar bear. Amazingly, Sebastian Plur Nilssen lived to tell the tale.

Be sure to visit the Daftas Web site to check out all the "winners" of this year's awards -- and let me know in the comments who your favorites are... or if we left anyone out.

Photo © Guinness World Records (right); Lincoln (Neb.) Police Department (left)

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