Strange New Products

Your contact info can now be seared onto a tiny of beef jerky, thanks to a process involving a 150-Watt laser. In the dog-eat-dog world of job search, isn't this the perfect statement? When you hand a thin slab of beef with your name and number to a prospective employer, you just can't be ignored.

"Blago" shampoo, inspired by Rod Blagojevich carries the slogan, "It's Bleep'n Golden!" Unlike the ousted Illinois governor, the manufacturer says, this shampoo, "passes the smell test."

Not ready to strap on adult diapers? Here's one alternative -- No-Wash Underwear. Rob Libfeld, a medical student at the University of Massachusetts, invented these durable boxers, after noting how embarrassed patients get during long hospital stays when their skivvies turn spunky.

If you're a sufferer of SED -- Sloppy Eating Disorder -- let the gravy run down your chin with pride. Help is here, and it's called, the Bibkin -- a woven adjustable strap that turns any cloth napkin into an adult bib.

Finally, man have a swimsuit that saves them from post-pool shriveling. Meet the "Rooster Booster."

How do you measure up in bed? A Spanish condom maker is now printing little tape measures on the side of its prophylactics -- the perfect gift to shatter the frail male ego.

Fried mozzarella sticks might slow you down, but can that power Greasecar Motorsports to victory? Justin Carven is hoping to win the Baja 1000 with a car that runs on recycled vegetable oil -- and Carven is getting his fuel straight from fast-food restaurants.

Feminists are wringing their hands as a Brazilian company unveils lingerie equipped with satellite tracking abilities. It's the perfect gift for the wife that's probably cheating on you (and perhaps for good reason, if this is your idea of a good gift).

Is the economy left you with a sinking feeling? Here's one way to rise above the misery -- a Star Wars-inspired lounge chair that allows you to float on a magnetic cloud.

Ready to greet 2009 in a greasepaint smile -- and nothing else? San Francisco clown are stripping, not just for laughs, but to fight MS.