And apparently, he was good at it, too.
"He was no stranger to the kitchen," police spokesman Joel DeSpain told the Huffington Post.
According to DeSpain, 52-year-old James Summers told the staff at a Madison's Denny's that he was a 30-year corporate veteran and was taking over.
In one of the most colorful police narratives every penned, DeSpain wrote that Summers "never announced he was one of the pros from Dover, but the briefcase toting gentleman wearing a maroon tie and long black trench coat was quite clear: he had been sent by corporate.
"Surprised, and a bit shocked, the 38-year-old [manager] thought, surely, this must be a mistake. ... Perhaps, she indicated to him, you have arrived at the wrong restaurant," he wrote.
While the manager phoned corporate, Summers allegedly began cooking up his meal. And he treated himself to a soda, too.
When police finally put a stop to the burger-eating spree, they found that Summers had been armed with a stun gun and two crack pipes.
Somehow, I'm not surprised.