'Tis the season to smile awkwardly and kiss the relative who gives you the sweater you'll never wear.
If you're looking for out-of-the-ordinary holiday gifts, these items are sure to light a fire under your yule log.
For Your Republican Friend: The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker
(Handout)
If you've got the nuts, this $25 Hillary Clinton will crack 'em in presidential style. “Besides being utterly ridiculous,” the site says, “the Hillary Nutcracker is durable and useful and comes in an attractive display box. (Like Hillary herself, nuts are not included.)” I hear the Ann Coulter Nutcracker, still in development, can break nuts by just looking at them.
For Your Democratic Friend: The Larry Craig Action Figure
They say boys don’t play with dolls, but this 12-inch version of Sen. Larry Craig might secretly be a boy toy. The image, right down to his eyewear is pretty accurate. The bendable legs allow for the figure to show off his wide stance. And he speaks, mostly in denials. While he might never be a guest in Barbie’s Dreamhouse, perhaps some entrepreneur will provide him with an airport men’s room playset.
For the Geeky Guy: The Desktop 8-inch Pole Dancer
(KlearGear.com)
Here’s a desk accessory for a really lonely guy –- an 8-inch bikini-clad pole dancer, who shakes her moneymaker on a stage that plugs into your USB port. As you play your CDs and MP3s, this gal dances and spins to the music, while the stage lights flash. It’s like going to the Bada Bing without having to be shaken down by Paulie Walnuts.
For the Potty Minded Kid: The Poo-Lar Bear Candy Dispenser
(Stupid.com)
High on the gross-out must-have list is the Poo-lar Bear. Press on this critters hind quarters and he dispenses candy in the rudest way possible. Forget what a bear will do in the woods. This critter will do it under the Christmas tree? Well, he's usually filled with chocolates.
For Grandma or Grandpa: Email Without an Email Account
(Presto.com)
Some seniors are tech savvy, but there are those who’ve never used a computer. Now, you can send email to someone who’s never had email. The Presto box plugs into a phone line, and you can even send digital photos. Presto even offers a daily news service.
For the High-Stepper: Glove-Style Shoes
(Vibram.com)
Those barefoot marathon runners must know something. The Vibram FiveFinger shoe-gloves earned a spot on Time magazine’s “Best Inventions of 2007,” and, apparently, they not only get high marks from runners, they may drive sock makers out of business. Best of all, they look so downright peculiar, that all the other runners will probably assume you know what your doing.
