Grit your teeth, and get ready to lose your appetite. Then ask yourself, "Why do I enjoy reading these sorts of stories?" (Then again, maybe you don't want to know.)
Pit Bull Sex
East Multnomah County (Ore.) Sheriff's Dept.
A 20-year-old from Oregon allegedly admits to having sex with his pit bull 400 times over a five year period.
Tinkling at the Bar
Collier County (Fla.) Sheriff's Office
Angry that he was asked to leave a bar, Graham Brunson, 21 allegedly unzipped his pants and expressed his displeasure.
Decapitated Horse Fed to Dogs
Courtesy Riverside County (Calif.) Sheriff's Dept.
Southern California Police accuse Jack Ziniuk of pummeling his horse with a sledgehammer, sawing off its head with a chainsaw, and leaving the remains in a dog run.
Boogers in the Pizza
Catawba County (N.C.) Sheriff's Office
Former Domino's workers Kristy Hammonds Thompson, 31, and Michael Setzer, 32, made a widely widely successful YouTube video, and in the process, got themselves arrested. "Did you all see that?" a woman who resembles Thomas says in the video. "He just blew a booger on those sandwiches.”
Naked Nanny
Pinellas County (Fla.) Sheriff's Office
Sarah Slicker earned her nickname, "The Naked Nanny," when she was convicted of undressing in front of a 4-year-old boy whom she was babysitting. After serving a year in prison, this former Sunday school teacher asked to have her probation reduced, for the sake of her child. (Yes, unfortunately, she has a child.)
Woman-on-Dog Sex Video
Courtesy of Sarasota County Sheriff's Office
Caroline Willette allegedly admitted to videotaping herself having sex with two dogs and possessing child porn. The 53-year-old Floridian will face a slew of charges, but bestiality won't be one of them.
Cop Who Urinated on Metallica Fan Pleads Guilty
Suffolk County (Mass.) Sheriff's Office
Former police officer Joseph Houston -- booked in his "Alcoholica" T-shirt -- lost his job and faced criminal charges after a Jan. 18 Metallica concert in which he allegedly pulled down his pants, exposed his you-know-what, harassed a family that was sitting in front of him, and urinating on a man's shirt.
Mummifying Mom
Indian River Sheriff's Office
In a stinking Sebastian, Fla. home, authorities found the mummified remain of Timmie Jordan, 96, fused to her bed. Police say her daughter had been cashing her Social checks, allegedly, for six years.
