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Tales From the Drunk Side

Bizarre Stories of Alcoholic Excess

By

Friends don't let friends end up like the people in the following stories.

Ambulance Joyride in Escape Attempt

Oklahoma Highway Patrol
An Oklahoma woman arrested on suspicion of drunken driving was taken to a hospital for drug and alcohol testing... but made a break for it in the hospital when she stole an ambulance, according to police.

Accused Drunk Driver Picked Up By Accused Drunk Driver

New York State police say the woman who came to pick up a man accused of drunk driving was actually drunker than the man she came to get, according to WPIX. S

They Must Have Been Dead Tired

Houston cops found something unusual in the closet of a vacant home: two men. One was sleeping, the other was dead, according to the Associated Press. Police found drugs on the scene, but it's not yet clear if they contributed to the dead man's demise.

Excuse Me, Sir or Madam

A Chicago-area bar for cross-dressers is instituting a unique new ID requirement. Your photo has to match your "gender presentation." In other words, if you're a man who dresses as a woman, you better be so dedicated to the cause that you'll wear drag in your ID photo. The owner says it's to cut down on prostitution, according to the Chicago Tribune.

Keg-Crazy Car Chase at 120 MPH

Kevin Schleicher
Marathon County Sheriff's Dept.
What's worse than leading cops on a 120-mph pursuit? Hurling a beer keg out the window during the chase. Police say Kevin Schleicher, 21, (pictured) hurled the keg as driver Kolton Kafka, 19 led police on the three-mile chase through Marathon County, Wisconsin this week.

Dave Matthews Fan Makes a Drunken Point

Dave Matthews
Getty Images
You can't drive drunk. But a cop can't force you to drive drunk. That's a lesson a Dave Matthews fan proved in court, after falling asleep in his car.

'I'm Drunk as Hell'

Michael Dauwalder 2009 Booking Photo
Cascade County (Montana) District Court
You know that part of your Miranda Rights that goes "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law"? Michael Dauwalder seems to have forgotten.

'Cigarettes, Whiskey & Wild, Wild Women'

Who says drinking is bad for you? The world's oldest man attributes all the things that are said to be bad for you as one of the reasons he got to live to 113.

'What's Wrong with a Man Driving Home Naked?'

Dearry Smiley 2009 Mug Shot
Walton County (Fla.) Sheriff's Dept.
A man stopped for drunk driving is found to be wearing a hat, sunglasses, sandals and nothing else.

153 Times . . . And Counting

Paul Baldwin 2009 Police Booking Photo
Rockingham County (Maine) Sheriff's Dept.
Just a year after he completing a one-year sentence for stealing a $199 can of beer, Paul Baldwin of Maine was back behind bars.
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