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Living With the World's Largest Penis

Snubbed for a Part on HBO's 'Hung', Jonah Falcon Looks to Jump Start His Career

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Jonah Falcon Headshot

Jonah Falcon

Photo © Jonah Falcon

What I like most about Falcon is that he's got ambition, and that he's trying to make it in a brutal, unforgiving business.

Falcon's latest disappointment: HBO didn't even consider him for a part in Hung the new series about a down-on-his-luck high school teacher who turns his personal "winning tool" (his big you-know-what) into a job asset. He becomes a male prostitute.

Did the cable network treat him like a piece of meat?

"If anyone knows what it's like to have a big penis and be looking for a break," he says, "it's me."

"I shouldn't complain . . . I mean, I've struggled, but no more than anyone else in these tough times. It's just that I'm an actor, and I hate it when I get passed over for a role that's tailor-made for me."

Still, it was on HBO in 1999 that Falcon became world famous. Back then, he shocked producers. "I went to their office in bike shorts with my c--k wrapped around the side of my leg."

"I have a picture of myself back then," Falcon says, running to the next room. He comes back and hands a black-and-white photo to me of him in all his glory.

"Look," he says. "I'm hanging halfway to my knees."

He hands me the picture, and indeed he was.

As you might assume, many men make claims about their genitalia, and Falcon's "World's Biggest" sobriquet comes with some dispute. The difference is that Falcon has been measured on videotape.

Being featured in the 2006 U.K. documentary World's Biggest Penis also helps.

"I know every time that show airs in Europe because hundreds of people try to friend me on MySpace and Facebook," he says. "It's crazy."

Falcon has also been featured on Howard Stern's Howard TV on Demand, as well as Out magazine, wherein he describes himself as bisexual, and Rolling Stone, which opens with an elaborate account of what it was like to be a ten-year-old boy with an 8-inch protuberance while changing in the locker room for gym class.

Falcon will pull down his pants and show what God has given him, if challenged by a reporter, or to settle a bet at a party. But he's not insensitive.

Robert Kurson's Rolling Stone piece took some liberties, he says, and the pictures of him are unflattering. "It was the worst time of my life," he says. "And it shows. I let myself get out of shape."

'John Holmes Is Not My Father'

"One reason I wouldn't want to do porn is that I wouldn't want to have sex on a crowded movie set. It's just not my thing."

When you're No. 1 at something -- anything, really -- other people are gunning for you, and Falcon is no exception.

Rolling Stone suggested that Falcon started a rumor that his father was John Holmes, the porn star portrayed by Val Kilmer in Wonderland and the inspiration for Boggie Nights.

"I wasn't the one who started that," he says. "It's just a rumor that's been attributed to me."

The truth is, Falcon's father died when he was just a boy. He and his mother spent many years living with cousins in New York City, where he graduated in 1988 from the Bronx High School of Science.

Another persistent story is that Falcon still lives with his mother. The truth is, as an itinerate actor, he sometimes stays with her when he's between gigs, but he otherwise lives on his own.

We chatted together at her place, as he waited for a repairman to fix the fridge.

Falcon is currently collaborating on a screenplay, and blogging for GameStooge.com. He hosts a public access TV show on the New York Yankees and the media inquiries never end.

"You know what they say, 'If you can't get someone to cast you in a part, you've got to cast yourself,'" he says. "So I'm working with a friend who's helping me stay focused, and another friend who knows how to finance these things."

The back room at his mother's house is filled with his childhood mementoes. You can peruse his VCR tapes, CDs and DVDs and know that this guy is a fan of classic comedies, Woody Allen films, Mystery Science Theater, and singer-songwriters from the '70s.

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