When man's best friend becomes man's wedded wife, you know society is spiraling downward.
Didn't former Republican Senator Rick Santorum warn that such things might happen if the country didn't embrace the Defense of Marriage Act?
Nevertheless, P Selvumar, a 33-year-old man in India, married a dog in a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu. The bride, a real mutt, wore a traditional orange sari and flower bun.
Selvumar told the BBC the marriage was his way to atone for stoning two other dogs to death, an incident that he believes left him cursed.
On his Dilbert blog, Scott Addams expressed mocking relief that at least this wasn't a gay man-on-beast sex that the Hindu temple seemed to be condoning.
A relative told the BBC why his cousin married "the bitch":
"Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs [he] could not move his limbs freely. He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.
"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured."
One can assume that even a four-legged bride growls at the b-word. Let's hope his side brought Snausages.