Most criminals are just not-so-bright people on what is likely to become the worst day of their life. Here's a rundown of your daily loser for March, 2008.
March 10: Police Nab Birthday Bandit
Robbing a Rite Aid and a Shopko is just no way to celebrate your 43rd birthday.
March 9: 452 Arrests . . . and Counting
Frequent arestee Wilson Yazzie Benally stole a bottle of mouthwash, marking his 452 arrest in Salt Lake City, dating back to 1995. Of course, he's still far away from the city record.March 8: Maryland Police Ignore Speed Cameras
No matter what the newly installed traffic cameras say, some Maryland drivers are refusing to pay dozens of $40 speeding fines. Who? Police officers. In the last eight months of 2007, Montgomery County's cameras recorded 224 cases in which police vehicles were recorded traveling more than 10 mph over the speed limit -- and only a small percentage involved times when they were responding to a call.March 7: Drunk 'Elvis' Jailed for Contempt of Court
An Elvis impersonator will be singing "Jailhouse Rock" behind bars for three days after showing up to court highly intoxicated and fully decked out as the king, complete with rhinestone-studded outfit.March 6: Bees Stolen in Hive Heist
As environmentalists fret over declining bee populations, In Herald, Calif., 180 entire hives have been stolen. A third-generation beekeeper says he's out $70,000 in lost bees, pollination fees and honey production.March 5: Women Pressure-Washes Little Girl
Police in Orlando are searching for two women caught on a surveillance camera pressure washing a screaming girl as a form of punishment.March 4: Woman Jailed for Failing to Return Library Book
Three overdue notices from the library cost a Wisconsin woman six days in jail, where she could have used a copy of Dostoevsky's "Crime & Punishment."March 3: A Deadly Glass of Wasps
After 20 years of marriage, a California woman admitted that she tried to kill her husband by giving him a can of grape soda filled with live wasps.March 2: Police Probe 'Spork' Robbery
So many weapons have been used in crime, but how many times has an assailant used that hybrid of a spoon and fork, known to many as a "spork"?
