Most criminals are just not-so-bright people on what is likely to become the worst day of their life. Here's a rundown of your daily loser for February 2008.
Cleveland Police say 51-year-old Mark Ott had no trouble breaking into a store, but he couldn't figure out how to get into his car.
An armed man got one for the road -- across his skull. As he tried to rob a gas station in Boise, Idaho, two men cracked him in the head, and now they've turned beer drinking into heroism.
Carlton Jermaine Davis, 26, took a woman's cell phone and purse, then told her, "Now I'm going to suck your feet." If he can't handle five months of probation, he'll find out just how much prison life sucks.
Police say Tom MacKenzie paid a woman $180 for a striptease, and then another $80 after she allegedly offered to perform sex. When he went in the next room to get a condom, she took off. And that's when he called the cops. If you can't trust the women you pay for sex, just who can you trust?
Police say John Bothick crime spree ended in the National Spiritualist Church, when he took a break from burglary and raided the church fridge for some Coca Cola. Police swabbed the can for DNA, and now, he'll have to see how his "Just Do It" cola defense flies in open court.
A grandmother was arrested along with her grandchildren, and police say the 62-year-old woman stashed 20 crack cocaine rocks, four grams of powder cocaine, marijuana and $1,000 in cash in her bra.
If you ever wondered how crack got it's name, the story of this suspected drug dealer might hold the answer.
Here's an episode of "CSI" you didn't see: A half-eaten slice of salami left at a crime scene led German police to a man who may soon be dining at a prison cafeteria.
