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Dumb Crime Du Jour

A Daily Look at Criminal Incompetence


Many criminals are simply not-so-bright people on what is likely to become the most embarrassing day of their life. Here's a daily look at some of the world's least competent crooks.

Creative Excuses from Accused Criminals

Zachary P. Ramirez Mug Shot
Naperville (Ohio) Police Department
This guy says he was going 111 mph to have sex, according to police. Another man arrested this week says he fled from police because he had to use the bathroom. Which excuse is better? Check 'em out and decide for yourself.

Hidden Vagina Trick Fails to Beat Drug Test

Mischelle Lindy Salzgeber
Pasco County (Florida) Sheriff's Office
A Florida woman on parole for dealing in stolen property tried to ace a drug test by hiding someone else's urine in her vajayjay -- but there were a couple of problems with her plan.

The Disney Peeper

The Disney Peeper
Orange County (Fl.) Jail
This isn't what they meant by Disney magic: Police say they caught a man spying on women in a bathroom at Epcot.

Amish Men Go Buggy Over Traffic Laws

Amish Mug Shot
Graves County (Kentucky) Jail

It's the week in weird crime: Amish go buggy over traffic laws... a real-life 'Weekend at Bernie's'... a prostitute who was undone by an opossum and more.

Drunk, Naked & Covered in Blood: Can You Guess Why?

Drunk, Naked & Covered in Dog Blood
Chicago Police Department

A Chicago man is found drunk, naked and covered in blood. See him here.

Police: Butt Dialing Teen Accidentally Lets Cops Listen In On Drug Deal

Alleged Butt Dialer
Hall County (Georgia) Sheriff's Office

A teen accidentally dialed 911 and let police listen in on his drug deal. See him here.

Bad Teacher: Police Say Substitute Urinated in Front of Class

Alleged Classroom Pee Teacher
Clayton County (Georgia) Jail

When you've gotta go, you've gotta go -- but try not to do it in front of the kids, like a Georgia teacher allegedly did.

Tigers' Star Miguel Cabrera in Weird DUI Arrest

Do I look drunk to you?
St. Lucie County (Florida) Sheriff's Office

Tigers' star Miguel Cabrera was arrested on suspicion of DUI -- and police say he continued to drink whiskey right from the bottle even after they stopped him.

Someone Call Mongo: Florida Woman Accused of Slapping a Horse

Accused of Horse Slapping
St. Petersburg (Florida) Police Department

A Florida woman is accused of slapping a police horse. Think of Mongo from "Blazing Saddles."

Naked 'King of the World' Gets Taser Treatment in Florida Keys

His Royal 'High'ness
Monroe County (Florida) Sheriff’s Office

A naked man who claimed to be king of the world is tasered three times in Florida.

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