Dumb Crime Du Jour

When police booked Keith Griffin on child porn charges, he offered a novel explanation. He was merely downloading porn, and he left his cat in front of the computer. He insists his kitty clicked on a button and caused a lot of bad, bad stuff to end up on his hard drive.

Police say Dalia Dippolito tried to arrange for her husband's murder, and then cried about it to police. Her biggest mistake: Allegedly hiring an ex-cop to do the job.

Let this be a lesson to all men who think they can secretly see multiple women. A wife and three women who were all involved with the same philanderer lured him to a hotel, and the outcome was unforgettable.

When you hear the words "porn star" and "bust" in the same sentence, it's usually an anatomical reference. In this case, however, actress Stormy Daniels was arrested and charged with battery after allegedly assaulting her husband in Tampa. Daniels, who is considering a run for the U.S. Senate in her home state of Louisiana, has appeared in films such as "Busty Beauties 2," "Big Busted Goddesses of Las Vegas," and "Thumpin Melons."

While most would-be robbers try not to stand out, police say 24-year-old Morgan Haley did just the opposite. She's accused of carjacking and trying to rob an RV dealership, all while clad only in her swimwear.

Police say Todd Olin thought he was almost home when he pulled off the highway and parked in Paw Paw, Mich. Unfortunately for Olin, he had parked right on the lawn of the local state police post. Police say he was covered in his own vomit and could neither walk nor talk. He was arrested on charges of drunk driving for the seventh time.

When does a naked hiker realize he's made a terrible mistake in shedding his clothes? Probably right about when the police show up. Maybe that's why police say he told a naked lie when asked what he was doing without his clothes.

Remember the good old days when a man who said he had "sex with a dog" was simply a misogynist with low standards?

Screaming that he was the "Son of Jesus," Ruben Vasquez Jr. beat several people with a 2-by-4, and fought with police before being arrested.