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Dumb Crime Du Jour

A Daily Look at Criminal Incompetence

By , About.com Guide

Many criminals are simply not-so-bright people on what is likely to become the most embarrassing day of their life. Here's a daily look at some of the world's least competent crooks.

Kitty Porn

Keith Griffin Mug Shot 2009Martin County (Fla.) Sheriff's Department
When police booked Keith Griffin on child porn charges, he offered a novel explanation. He was merely downloading porn, and he left his cat in front of the computer. He insists his kitty clicked on a button and caused a lot of bad, bad stuff to end up on his hard drive.

Crocodile Tears From Accused Murderess

Dalia Dippolito Mug Shot 2009Boynton Beach (Fla.) Police
Police say Dalia Dippolito tried to arrange for her husband's murder, and then cried about it to police. Her biggest mistake: Allegedly hiring an ex-cop to do the job.

Flaming Penis

In an apparent act of revenge, a woman sets fire to a man's genitals after he allegedly exposes himself at a bar.

Scorn Women Crazy Glue Man's Penis

Michelle Belliveau Mug ShotCalumet County Sheriff's Office
Let this be a lesson to all men who think they can secretly see multiple women. A wife and three women who were all involved with the same philanderer lured him to a hotel, and the outcome was unforgettable.

Porn Star in Battery Bust

Stormy DanielsHillsborough County Sheriff's Office
When you hear the words "porn star" and "bust" in the same sentence, it's usually an anatomical reference. In this case, however, actress Stormy Daniels was arrested and charged with battery after allegedly assaulting her husband in Tampa. Daniels, who is considering a run for the U.S. Senate in her home state of Louisiana, has appeared in films such as "Busty Beauties 2," "Big Busted Goddesses of Las Vegas," and "Thumpin Melons."

Bikini Bandit Exposed

Morgan Haley mug shot 2009Southaven Police Department
While most would-be robbers try not to stand out, police say 24-year-old Morgan Haley did just the opposite. She's accused of carjacking and trying to rob an RV dealership, all while clad only in her swimwear.

Alleged Drunk Driver Parks on Police Lawn

Todd Olin Mug Shot 2009Michigan State Police
Police say Todd Olin thought he was almost home when he pulled off the highway and parked in Paw Paw, Mich. Unfortunately for Olin, he had parked right on the lawn of the local state police post. Police say he was covered in his own vomit and could neither walk nor talk. He was arrested on charges of drunk driving for the seventh time.

Naked Hiker Changes His Tune

Sando HamiltonLincoln Police Department
When does a naked hiker realize he's made a terrible mistake in shedding his clothes? Probably right about when the police show up. Maybe that's why police say he told a naked lie when asked what he was doing without his clothes.

July 19: Man-on-Dog Sex

Christopher Bagwell Mug ShotPolice Booking Photo
Remember the good old days when a man who said he had "sex with a dog" was simply a misogynist with low standards?

July 18: 'Son of Jesus' Arrested

Ruben Vasquez Jr. 2009 Mug ShotPolice Booking Photo
Screaming that he was the "Son of Jesus," Ruben Vasquez Jr. beat several people with a 2-by-4, and fought with police before being arrested.

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