Most criminals are just not-so-bright people on what is likely to become the worst day of their life. Here's a rundown of your daily loser for April, 2008.
Police in Alabama are looking for a man in his mid twenties who continued to talk on his cell phone as he robbed the First Community Bank. He didn't even have the decency to use a headset.
Australian police took DNA from a pool of vomit left at the scene of a post office holdup and were able to tie a 20-year-old. The man has been convicted of aggravated robbery and will have three years in prison to settle his stomach.
Authorities say 37-year-old Lawrence Thomas called 911 and said police are useless and some of them are going to die. Some of the useful ones caught up with Thomas, who also allegedly threatened Tampa Mayor Pam Lorio.
A man in his 20s at the American Savings Bank in Honolulu handed a teller a note that said, "This is a robbery." Flustered, the teller asks him for I.D. and the would-be robber runs out.
Fresh out of prison, Freddie Johnson boarded a morning rush hour subway in Manhattan and allegedly ground his pelvis into a woman's backside. What sets Johnson apart from many other accused criminals, police say, is that he's been arrested 53 times -- the majority for groping women on the subway.
A family in Camden Township, Ohio, is offering a $1000 reward for whoever left feces and urin in a Longaberger basket full of feces and urine in their living room.
Two Massachusetts men are charged with shoving the disassembled parts of an aboveground pool into their back seat and trying to sell it for scrap metal. They allegedly told police they thought they were doing a neighbor a favor by disposing of unwanted property.
Two dog-sized miniature horses — Foxy and Taylor — were found with hair missing from their tails and manes, and police in Land O'Lakes, Fla., are looking for the culprits. The horses' owner, who keeps them as pets, says this is the second time this has happened. Now, he has to buy his four-legged friends artificial tails because fly season is coming.
When 16-year-old girl arrived at her friend's house where she had been staying, six girls were waiting, and then the pummeling began. All this was captured on video, allegedly to post the beating on MySpace and YouTube.
Police were called to Derdre Rodriguez's home on Monday where they found her holding 16-year-old Jake Merfeld at bay with the ice scraper. She told officers that when she came home, she heard someone jump out of a back window. She saw the teen running across the yard, carrying jewelry, cell phones and a video game.