If you're feeling bad about getting old, don't despair. As my father says, "Think of the alternatives. Here's some strange news involving senior citizens, and those instances we politely call, "Senior Moments."
© Gordon Donovan
What would Elvis lived if he reached his 75th birthday? Given how he looked in his last years, and how quickly he was going to pot, that's a scary thought. Still, Elvis was just one of the greatest stars who ever lived, so enjoy this artist rendering by the great Gordon Donovan.
An Idaho woman mistook her hearing aid for a Milk Dud. Fortunately, she figured it out before she swallowed it. The device needed $200 in repairs, but at least she didn't have to fish it from the toilet, according to the Spokesman-Review.
A 51-year-old grandmother who has been barred from seeing her grandchildren without permission is accused of calling in a bomb threat at their elementary school.
Fulton (Missouri) Police Department
A Missouri woman angry that a plane flew too close to her house went to the airport with a gun and said she was going to shoot it down. Then, police say 69-year-old Judy Davis walked out onto the runway and opened fire -- forcing a plane to abort its landing, according to the Columbia Daily Tribune.
Collier County (Fla.) Sheriff’s Office
At 68 years old, Quinn Judith Fenton probably doesn't get asked for ID at the bar anymore. Maybe that's why police say she slammed into a cop car, causing it to hit another vehicle, and had a blood-alcohol level of twice the legal limit.
Cook County (Ill.) Sheriff's office
After more than five dozen bookings, Ella Orka might want to think about a new vocation. Her latest arrest comes for allegedly swiping anti-wrinkle cream.
Henry Allingham, the world's oldest living man, says he reached the ripe old age of 113 thanks to a lot of things other people tell you to avoid.
Photo © ALI BURAFI/Getty Images
Isobel Varley, otherwise known as the world's most tattooed senior woman, has been radically modifying her body since 1986, and she's redecorated parts of her body that we at About.com are way to modest to show you.
Gastonia County (N.C.) Sheriff's Office
An 83-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman are accused "crimes against nature" for having sex in a Buick parked outside of a North Carolina Wal-Mart.
An 82-year-old Utah say he tripped and got trapped in his bathtub, and was only found after neighbors noted that he hadn't been walking his dog.