If you're feeling bad about getting old, don't despair. As my father says, "Think of the alternatives. Here's some strange news involving senior citizens, and those instances we politely call, "Senior Moments."
Don't Eat Your Ears
An Idaho woman mistook her hearing aid for a Milk Dud. Fortunately, she figured it out before she swallowed it. The device needed $200 in repairs, but at least she didn't have to fish it from the toilet, according to the Spokesman-Review.No Way to See the Grandkids
A 51-year-old grandmother who has been barred from seeing her grandchildren without permission is accused of calling in a bomb threat at their elementary school.Granny's Got a Gun
Fulton (Missouri) Police Department
A Missouri woman angry that a plane flew too close to her house went to the airport with a gun and said she was going to shoot it down. Then, police say 69-year-old Judy Davis walked out onto the runway and opened fire -- forcing a plane to abort its landing, according to the Columbia Daily Tribune.
Nice to Bump Into You, Officer
Collier County (Fla.) Sheriff’s Office
At 68 years old, Quinn Judith Fenton probably doesn't get asked for ID at the bar anymore. Maybe that's why police say she slammed into a cop car, causing it to hit another vehicle, and had a blood-alcohol level of twice the legal limit.
61st Arrest for 86-Year-Old Woman
Cook County (Ill.) Sheriff's office
After more than five dozen bookings, Ella Orka might want to think about a new vocation. Her latest arrest comes for allegedly swiping anti-wrinkle cream.
'Cigarettes, Whiskey and Wild, Wild Women'
Henry Allingham, the world's oldest living man, says he reached the ripe old age of 113 thanks to a lot of things other people tell you to avoid.
$40,000 Bodysuit
Photo © ALI BURAFI/Getty Images
Isobel Varley, otherwise known as the world's most tattooed senior woman, has been radically modifying her body since 1986, and she's redecorated parts of her body that we at About.com are way to modest to show you.
Sex at a Wal-Mart's Parking Lot
Gastonia County (N.C.) Sheriff's Office
An 83-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman are accused "crimes against nature" for having sex in a Buick parked outside of a North Carolina Wal-Mart.
