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Hysterical Prudishness

Bans on Cussing, Drinking and Anything Resembling Promiscuity


Is America a little too uptight? Let your hair down and take a look at how America protects itself . . . from itself.

Thong Ban for 'Speedo Man'

A Tallahassee man known for biking in the tiniest of briefs has been told to cover up, according to the Sun-Sentinel. Richard Irby, 55, was charged with disorderly conduct for showing a little too much while cycling.

Marriage is Sacred in Philly

A truck with an ad for a Web site that encourages married people to cheat got the boot from the City of Brotherly Love. But the problem doesn’t seem to be the ad for AshleyMadison.com — the truck is a gas tanker, and it was making people nervous, including the Secret Service.

Drop Trou and Celebrate!

Saggy Pants
Getty Images
A Florida judge has struck down a law that barred anyone from wearing extremely low butt-exposing or underwear-exposing pants, calling the ban unconstitutional.

Close Shave for 'Brazilian' Wax Ban

New Jersey lawmakers considered banning the bare-it-all bikini waxing style known as the "Brazilian" after two women were hospitalized with infections following the procedure. They dropped the matter when the state's consumer affairs director said, "the procedure can be safely performed."

Playboy Apologizes for Nude Virgin Mary

Playboy magazine
The December issue of Playboy's Mexico edition features on its cover the Virgin Mary with nothing but a skimpy towel, and the words "Te Adoramos, Maria," or "We Adore You, Maria," and -- surprise, suprise -- some people were offended.

D'oh! 'Simpsons' Cartoon Considered Porn

In a landmark ruling, an Australian man was convicted of possessing child porn on his computer, and the material deemed offensive was an internet cartoon depicting character from The Simpsons.

Dirty Dancer Wins $275,000 From Dance Hall

The town of Ashville, N.C., told Rebecca Willis that residents were shocked by her provocative dance that "[simulated] sexual intercourse with her partner who hunched on the floor." Officials banned her from a local dance hall, she sued, and waltzed out of the courtroom with $275,000.

'Little House on the (X-Rated) Prairie'

Adults Only version of "Little House on the Prairie"
Universal Pictures
Were you expecting a topless Laura Ingalls? Not so fast, cowboy. To save money, Universal Pictures decided not to submit a DVD version of the series to state inspection. Now, it's relegated to the part of stores where children are not allowed to go.

Abstinence? No Thanks!

Atlanta's Marriage for a Lifetime contest promises $10,000 in prizes to an engaged couple who can refrain from premarital sex. There's only one problem: Nobody has entered.

'WTF' Bannded From Colo. License Plates

Anyone who's ever sent a text message knows what "WTF" means, and Colo. authorities have added it to a list of banned license plate letter combinations that includes JAP, WOP, FAG, and KKK.
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