First of all, I deeply respect serious art collectors. Second, I own a Rice Chex shaped like Wyoming and a Cocoa Puff that resembles Jupiter -- both of which I'll part with at a reasonable price.
Alas, Mr. Wolf, who just may be a long lost relative, isn't as flaky as his most famous possession, which he transports in a jewelry box.
As I gazed in wonder upon his delicate flake, I breathed softly, as if I were standing before a newborn baby and not some Internet joke that had gone way to far.
The 42-year-old Texan then proceeded to tell me that he was making "an investment," assuring me he wasn't a crackpot, and by the end of the conversation, I had actually started to believe him.
Being in on the Joke vs Being the Joke
"When you see an absurd phenomenon like this, everyone wants to be in on the joke," he said. "But there's a fine line between being in on the joke, and being the joke . . . I don't intend to be the joke."
What Wolf hopes to do is create buzz for his website -- triviamania.com -- and by that measure, he's succeeding. (Check out the pictures.)
Indeed, by winning the most talked-about eBay auction of the year, Wolf has already garnered almost as much free publicity as Elliot Spitzer's hooker, if only for a brief moment.
"Hey I knocked Britney off the back page for maybe a day," he chuckled. "Maybe someone owes me a little thanks for that."
'This Way to the Egress'
In fad-a-minute America, Wolf now intends to build a one-of-a-kind traveling museum of Americana -- turning to P.T. Barnum for inspiration.
"This way to the egress!" he says, quoting America's most famous showman (and huckster).
If the Smithsonian can proudly display the Fonzie's leather jacket, Wolf has the next best piece of Happy Days memorabilia -- Richie Cunningham's high school letterman's sweater, bought at auction for $10,000.
Through auction, Triviamania has also snapped up Marilyn Monroe's date book ($70,000) and the derby Jack Ruby was wearing when he shot Lee Harvey Oswald ($50,000).
And those are the sort of pop cultural touchstones trivia hounds love -- but will they pay museum prices to look at them?
If there's more people like Jon Wolf, the answer is clearly yes.
And if folks line up to see the Frosted Flakes the way several About.com guides and editors did in Austin last week, Wolf may indeed prove to be the new Barnum.
I asked Wolf if his wife had taken their two kids -- a 4-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter -- and filed for divorce, given the fact that bidding for something a stranger finds in a cereal bowl probably constitutes insanity in any court of law.
"To the contrary, my children might go to college on the money I'll make off my corn flake . . . And when my wife says, 'Guess what my husband did today' to her friends . . . let's just say she doesn't have a typical response. She's behind me 100 percent."
Now that's a love that won't get soggy in milk.
And if the museum doesn't work out, Wolf can always show up to costume parties in Jack Ruby's hat, Richie Cunningham's sweater, claiming Marilyn Monroe stood him up.
