Inaugural a Royal Flush for Port-a-John Suppliers
If two million patriotic Americans make it to the swearing in of Barack Obama, the biggest question may be this: Where will they go to the bathroom?
Among the historic milestones we'll see is the assemblage of 5,000 Port-a-Johns. But is that enough for the freezing multitudes who'll be standing outside for hours -- two of them being me and my somewhat squeamish wife.
Inaugural organizers say they've got more than enough potties to meet even the highest estimates. But frankly, I'm hoping Claudine is too busy packing and trying on ball gowns to read this blog entry, at least until we board Amtrak.
Nervous Nellies should keep in mind that there are Port-a-John alternatives. Museums and public buildings will be open for extended hours and expecting colossal bathroom traffic. (Note to self: Bring toilet paper).
I thought inauguration marketers had every angle covered. Obama fans braving the foul weather can keep warm with Barack Obama Stadium Cozies bearing the Democrat's campaign logo and Obama Rain Ponchos emblazoned with his face.
But if the bathroom plan fails -- and trust in Washington is at all-time lows for good reason -- frustrated blue staters might actually turn blue and beg for official Barack Obama inaugural catheters and diapers.
Others might simply wait it out, with legs crossed, on ridiculous Port-a-John lines, chanting en mass, "Yes, we can … Yes, we can."
And for them, that wait might seem longer than Bush's second term.
- Related:
- Wild Obama Inaugural Souvenir Overkill
- Inaugural Event Guide
- Inaugural Ball Guide
- Inaugural Transportation Guide
- Inauguration Prompts State of Emergency
- Lincoln's 2nd Inaugural Address
Photo © Don's John's (Top), Inauguration Store (Middle), Brendan Smialowski/Getty Images (Bottom)
Comments
Last I read, it was 5,000, not 50,000. Another magnitude worse! (But the Smithsonian museums are mostly open. With their warm bathrooms. Imagine the lines, though.)
You’re right. My bad. Thanks for pointing out my error.