Legal scholars widely acknowledge that being forced to listen to "Copacabana (At the Copa)" more than once a millennium is a recognized form of torture on five continents.
All I can tell you, friend, is don't violate a noise ordinance in Fort Lupton, Colo., where Judge Paul Sacco will sentence you to a one-hour playlist of Barry Manilow (or the theme tune from "Barney and Friends") faster than you can say, "American Bandstand."
Amnesty International is sure to deplore this savagery, but Judge Sacco nevertheless tells Reuters, "This is a way … of teaching manners to people."
Sadly, I have no doubt the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay know by heart all the words to "Mandy," and this is but one of the deep shames of the Bush Administration.
This one's for you, wherever you are, Robert Basler. wherever you are. Indeed, I can't smile without you, but that's largely because of the Botox. Photo © Getty Images
Comments
I have to confess… I like Manilow and I know the words to more than one of the Barney songs!
Who buys condoms for “the laughs”?
If you need to measure for any reason, put the condoms down, get your pants back on and get away from that girl as fast as possible.