Not for Me: Condom Measuring Tape

I'm short, fat, bald, and you can usually smell me coming.

I've taken some revenge against Mother Nature for the hand she's dealt me by having a really hot wife, the kind who makes people say, "She must see something in that guy. We sure don't!"

That's some comfort. But average guys like myself don't need modern marketing like the Condometric -- a condom with a ruler printed down its side, so the wearer and his companion can see how he measures up.

Ladies, if you're having trouble getting your man to use birth control, Condometrics might not be the best starting point, unless you're dating a egomaniacal Chippendale.

My friends at FlashNews ran a bit on this peculiar prophylactic earlier this week. Carmen Espiñ a spokeswoman for Curiosite says the condom lets guys enjoy sex more because they don't have to worry about falling short.

"There's no room for bragging," she says. "Just laughs."

One small consolation: The Spanish manufacturer only sells metric-based condoms, so if you don't do the centimeters-to-inches conversion, it might make you feel 2.54 times larger than you actually are.

More: Strange New Products

Photo © Condometric

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